Wednesday, January 6, 2010


is never a bad idea! It's my second day toddlersitting Maisara and I don't find it difficult. Perhaps because we've been staying together for 4 months now and the bond is there. So, let's recap the days..

DAY 1.

My brother in law sent her to Aiman's (her cousin) house. It's her daily routine where Aiman's mommy will send the 3 of them (Aiman, Sara and Ilham) to Montessori Makan Duit (bukan nama sebenar) at 8.30am. She then was picked up by Aiman's mommy and I waited for her at the lobby at around 11am. I really looked like a bibik with my fancy pj's and muka bangun tido and of course, tak mandi. :p

Since auntie Wija was on leave too, we decided to take Sara out for a nice lunch treat. She's been asking for noodle so we settled ourselves at Ah Cheng Kopitiam at Cineleisure (ha'ah lawak skit namanya tapi food dia not bad!). Believe it or not, this young lady finished a bowl of kuey tiow soup on her own! It's an adult portion ya.. Budak ini sangat suka makan! And of course noodle soup is her favourite. I had nasik lemak ayam goreng special which was a bit bland and way incomparable with Old Town's nasik lemak.. Sangat tak boleh lawan Old Town punya ayam goreng. Wija chose nasik lemak ayam rendang which I didnt have the chance to try pun! Sebab terlalu asyik attend to Sara and Wija ate super fast sebab kebuluran. Nevermind, I will try it one day.

Sara then started to be cranky and asked us to take her home. But when I said we wanted to stroll in the mall, she immediately turned on happy faces and couldn't wait any longer! I took the chance to look for digi cam as part of my review before I complete my first wishlist and both Sara and Wija were bored in the shop. Wija then took her to the fountain area where they had a splash there! Amik kau tengah2 hari berbasahan kat situ. Wija really knows how to entertain kiddos since she herself has 2 of them. Time kasih auntie Wija!

Once I'm done with my camera review (no, belom beli. still indecisive!), we decided to go back to my crib and Wija stayed with us the whole day. Sara was excited to have guest in the house and she passed her nap time playing around with auntie Wija. She asked me to put on Dancing Queen and she performed her steps in front of auntie Wija. Little that I know auntie Wija took video of her dance! (nanti share eh wija!) I was of course busy with my camera review, fb-ing, ym-ing and other mouse clicking activities.

Around 6pm, we took her to the pool for a swimming session. Both me and Wija didn't swim so we let her play on her own with her 2 imaginary leaves friends. She was busy bathing the leaves and talking to them. Though it was a bit drizzling, Sara was clearly having fun with the leaves!! Mommy was caught in the traffic and only managed to reach home at 7pm. Me & Wija decided to have our eyebrow done at Bangsar and a nice dinner. Unfortunately, Sara wanted to tag along and threw her tantrum in the kitchen seeing us leaving. Yeah, a heart breaking moment to leave the kid behind especially when you had to close the door in front of her! Tunggu kakak besar, maksu bawak pegi Bangsar ye!!

The rest of the night was an adult session for me and Wija...

DAY 2.

Same routine in the morning. At 11pm, I went down to fetch her. The first thing she told me was "kakak nak makan outside today". Aiyak!! I told her we don't have any car and we cannot have lunch outside. She simply said "ajak la auntie kawan maksu semalam". Haha. If only auntie Wija runs her own business, boleh la ponteng kan? Huhu. I was worried at first coz she didn't want me to cook for lunch and insisted to go out. Texted mommy asking for back up plan. I then decided to let her take an early nap and we go out at 2pm to KLCC by cab, have lunch while waiting for mommy to finish her works. So I asked her to sleep but she kept saying "tak bolom ngantuk" which means "not yet sleepy". Yeah, tak bolom itu not yet ye.

Around noon, a good old friend ym-ed me asking for a quick lunch. Bagai disorong bantal time mengaruk2, I happily said yes! So I asked Sara to stay awake while I bathe (sure dia confuse maksu dia beria suruh tido then suruh stay awake pulak?!!). So, again we went to the Curve and since uncle Alaudin has a meeting at 2pm, we decided to have McD instead of noodle. Hari2 mintak noodle budak ni. It was a quick lunch but it's enough for me and Din to catch up on few things. The last time we met was 2 years back??

Nothing much happenings on day 2 since we don't have any transport. She managed to nap for a couple of hours and I fed her with the remaining fries in the evening. I can now officially end my 2 days contract with mommy to take care of her.

Oh, lupa pulak. Most important fact. Why do I have to babysit her when she has a daycare center? Yeah, inilah masalah utama dengan orang MELAYU yang berbusiness untuk DUIT sahaja. Her parents signed up at Montessori for her pre-K and followed by a daycare at the same place. However, the school decide to start the daycare next week instead of this week!! What the fffffffffffffffffff! Kalau nak buat daycare, buat betul-betul ye. Suka hati awak nak cuti sana cuti sini. Sapa yang susah? Mak bapak budak la. My BIL took 1 day off on Monday, I took 2 days off on Tues and Wedns and my sis will be off Thurs and Friday, just to take care of her. AND, there will be no daycare on next Monday either! Adoila. Apa ni. Baik hantar pegi kindie cha ya nun alip yang lagi organized, kan? Orang kaya berbusiness macam ni la. Orang yang tak kaya mcm kami ni makin kayap lah.. huhu.

Anyway, staying with her adds to another good memory to treasure. I love kids now!! And gave me a taste of parenthood? Hahaha.. Mari berangan ya............... ;p

We didn't snap any picture so ni adalah picture few months ago. She looks soooo naughty huh?


Tuesday, January 5, 2010


berkurangan mendadak!! *stress*

I'm not only underweight now but I'm so skinny and rasa mcm skeleton gile! *double stress*

Since break up dulu, drop from 46kg to 44kg. Time kasih pada air mata yang berjurai2 itu.

Since puasa, drop from 44kg to 42kg. This is so expected everytime Ramadhan. Confirm hilang 2kg yang kononnya AIR but after melantak time raya pun tak naik2.

Since surgery, drop merudum from 42kg to 39kg!!! *nak meraung kuat2!* Padahnya operate tonsil sekali dengan sinus nih. Terus on cold fluid diet and walaupun dah boleh melantak gila2 sekarang masih di angka yang sama (ke weighing scale tuh rosak?haha!)

Back in UTP, berat paling hebat pun memang 39kg. And I always said to people "aku kena badi nombor kereta ni". Yea, no kenderaan saya RC 39 so ala2 kena badi 39 tu la. Bila dah move to 40kg memang dah stay above that line. But now dah fall back to that number. Aiyoh.

Makan memang dah banyak sekarang. Apatah lagi bila berkecimpung dengan kehidupan Wija yang suka makan hebat2 & sedap2 nih. Tapi tetaplah tak berubah scale tuh...

Supplement? Pagi ambil colostrum milk (proven dlm membantu percepatkan healing process utk surgery ni ye!!) then malam ambil balik weight gain yang dah lama tertinggal. Yea, up to that point sebab sangat desperate nak balik body asal. =(

Saya sudah tidak ada liuk lentok ukuran badan. Sungguh kurang menyelerakan! haha. Pergi kerja pun pakai baju kurung sebab seluar semua sangat longgar and pakai belt sangatlah buruk! Orang lain complaint pakai baju kurung sebab seluar ketat tapi saya? *sedihnye!!!*

"Doakanlah supaya saya cepat naik badan. And bersyukurlah anda "sihat". Kurus keding macam saya ni horrible!" kata Cik skeleton


Monday, January 4, 2010


A heavy topic. I’m not so sure how am I supposed to write this but I truly hope I will be able to convey the “right” message by end of this note. Obviously hot issue is so not my cup of tea. I don’t read much, nor do I have a bright thinking and good brain to write good stories. But I have had quite a handful life experience that I think some of my friend don’t, or yet to have it coming.

Do you judge? And why do you judge? How do you perceive me from my behavior and lifestyle? Not that I care much but sometimes it really makes me sick when people simply judge and act against me. I do judge sometimes but I reserve it to myself only, as I know I might be wrong in my evaluation.

I’ve had 2 chapters in 2009 that I will remember forever, on top of many other hate books I had in previous years. When I was in depressed mode, I tried to talk things through and get advices from my girl friends. Note that I don’t have a dedicated bestfriend or BFF thingy coz people don’t like me to be their BFFs? (Haha loser!) So I just have a few friends whom I consider close to me and I believe they know me inside out, or at least partially.

We can only think and say so much about a person but as a considerate human being, I don’t think I have the right to judge a person just because I heard people badmouthed her. I’m fully aware of what people think about me. Bossy, bitchy, emotional, and all the bad traits that you can imagine. I agree with emotional, but when it comes to bossy I was quite taken aback with the statement. I was once labeled bossy by a friend whom I never worked with. I threw the question “please tell me when was the last time we had anything to do together and how bossy I was to you or any other person? Can you please help me to recall coz I have a very weak memory”.

Her answer? “No, we never had anything formal done in the past but that’s what I HEARD people said about you.” She then said she and her girlfriends used to hate me before this but since I’ve changed, they decided to accept me back into their so called clan.

F.U! Okay, this is a bit too detail but I seriously HATE this lady so much that I don’t even think I want to be her friend again. I had NEVER been in their clan before this coz I’m a lone ranger (yeah call me a loner I don’t care) and I have NEVER applied to be part of YOUR so called clan again. Sorry missy but I think you’re talking nonsense here. Please have the facts right before you want to act like a mother Theresa to me. She even said “you have to change your attitude if you don’t want to end up not having good friends around you”. Come on, are you living in a fantasy world? In this cruel life, we don’t really need friends to be around us ALL the time. I have few friends whom I know they will support me whenever I’m in trouble. I may not have a big clan like you do but I do have few little friends who are so darling to me. And do you really think post-marriage life will be the same as before? NO. Friends come and go, depending on when and where you are.

I then told a few friends who she claimed to be part of her clan and little that I know, all her/my friends had the same comfort line “she is always like that. Kau bukan tak tau dia suka cakap lepas”. Yes it came from 4 different people and I was so surprised that I actually did not know her THAT well. Not that I’m really satisfied with what people been talking about her but I’m so frustrated to have a friend like her who was so shallow and yet have the guts to tell straight to my face of what she HEARD about me.

I was considered a snob back in UTP coz I didn’t really mix around with my own batch. Don’t ask me why, I just don’t. But that doesn’t mean you can simply say bad things about me right? Let alone believing what people thought about me. You can believe but does it really hurt you to just keep it to yourself and not trying to be an angel to save me from failing my own life?

Ok I’m diverting from my initial intention. What I really want to express here is please people, don’t judge. I have few friends who like to judge my other friends. I don’t want to budge but I don’t like the way you’re judging him/her/them/me! As long as they don’t cause any pain to your life, then why don’t you just leave them alone? That’s not really a hard thing to do. Do you really have to say bad things about Siti Nurhaliza just because you can’t be as rich as her? Come on…

On another note, I’m currently being judged by a guy who never wanted to see me in order for me to explain things to him. That’s the power of judging. But I don’t fret; I let it all go when the clock strikes 12 on New Year. In fact, I asked for forgiveness for all my wrongdoings and I never want to know the truth or things that had happened in the past. What the other people was talking about me and how the relationship was badly ruined because of this judging attitude. Yeah it was so hurtful but there’s nothing that I can do now, no? I always believe in “truth speaks itself” so I truly hope people can see the real me one day. I’m not that pain in the ass after all. But yes I can be bitchy at times depending on how bitchy you are to me.

I actually drafted the 2 little chapters but I guess I was detailing them too much and I don’t want to create a prolong issue. I am really sticking to my resolution here and generic post will be enough to keep you guys thinking. I don’t mind befriending judgmental people but when this kind of people starts to be so frank with what they have in mind based on what other people might be thinking of me, that’s really disturbing. I accept criticism, as long as it is a constructive one.

Say NO to judgmental!

p/s: I planned to have a sharing session post but it looks more like a rant. ;p


Sunday, January 3, 2010


Though Christmas was long gone but I'm still in the mood of tabulating my future spending in 2010! Haha belum apa2 sudah ada banyak list, camne?

What I WANT for this year:
  • Camera: lost mine at PCMC. Forgot to do a thorough check before I left the room. That's me, btw. So, contemplating either to grab the LX3 or a Nikon DSLR (maybe D40/ D60?). I'm not into D90 coz it's damn heavy! LX3 seems more attractive for being compact but also serving my needs of having good pictures. Budget? Surprisingly I'm not thiking of any dollar signs here. Good things are damn expensive no? Gadget experts, help me out please!! Anybody with both experience are very much welcome!
  • Blackberry Bold: Purpose? I can create million reasons for having this. Part of it, I'm bored with my Nokia ExpressMusic 5800 even though it's a cool gadget and serve the main purpose of having a phone. But I don't quite enjoy browsing using touch screen. I keep on losing my stylus as well, so before I end up having no stylus at all I think I'll let it go to my sister (no, nothing is free in this cruel world!). So why BB? Been thinking to have it for so long but since someone actually gave that Nokia to me (Ooh crap, it was a present okay?!) I need access to internet and also to my emails. Will be busy this year when I join the new team and I think I'm in need of a BB now. I'll check with Maxis if they have anything good to offer.
  • Diving buddy: Ok this one is not a material that can be obtained over the counter! I'm planning to attend an underwater wedding this March and I don't wanna be kera sumbang sorang2. I need a buddy!! Shawn? Well my ex-bf is already back in KL for good and I can always ask him to join me BUT will that be okay to his other half? Not that I bother much but I just need a buddy~~~
  • Diving equipment: Oh yes this one gonna cost a lot of ka ching!! Need to go thru the jewelries again before I can be serious in spending my cash on them. Boots & mask are on the top but I'm seriously considering to have my own regulator. Geli okay sewa walaupun dia sterile.. euw euw
  • Rock climbing: Outdoor! I need the right person to bring me for this. Limau!! Please organize 1 for me. I wanna do more outdoor this year.
  • White Water Rafting: I'm a bit in 50-50 for this. I surely gonna have fun in WWR but I'm hell scared of being toppled upside down and God knows, I might hit the batu bata dalam air and drowned! How la?
  • Travelling: I have plans for January, February and March and they sure gonna cost me a mountain. But I know it will all be worth with the fun and experiences. Boleh tak pejam mata and let others pay for the expenses? Sugar daddy? NO!
  • Party: Ha, dont judge! Dont get me wrong with this word. Hehe. I need to have more fun with the girls. More outings, dancing, karaoke, movies, this and that will do.
  • Dance class: Had a conversation with a girl friend where we agreed on the needs to learn dancing as a way to release all negative energy in our body. But hey, this is expensive okay! Plus I need a dedicated dance partner! A masculine one. Who could it be? ;p
  • Entrepreneurship: Will have my online shop activated really soon! Wait for it people and please spread the word~.
  • Renovation: Okay so in 2009 I bought myself a house! Fuh, setelah sakit kepala mengapply loan here and there I'm finally on my way to have my very own crib people! Okay bukan nada menunjuk but I'm just happy and proud of myself. Managed to have it on my own at 26 y.o. Now have to think of the money that I need to fork out for the furnishing and whatnot. Walaupun lambat lagi siapnya, but I know I'm gonna need A LOT for the house. Hopefully everything will go as per planned. Ka ching~ ka ching~
Okay macam berjela2 la kan wish list ni. But I think I'll be able to meet all this, provided I have more money coming in!! Will work my ass out on this. (rasa macam nak main loteri kot2 strike kan? hahaha)

There's the road sign but which way to go people?

*cheers to more ka ching~!*

Agak bosan dengan layout blog ni. Tapi sangat PEMALAS nak edit everything. Boleh upah sesiapa tak? ;p

Trying to do something fresh and new to this blog. FIERY PINK perhaps? Black layout ni kadang2 buat mata jadi sedikit juling especially when I read back all the posts (Yea, I do read my old posts sometimes, that's what this blog is for kan?).

Putih pun agak SUCI. Hah tapi nantilah. 2010 ni banyak sangat agenda yang bakal merosakkan masa senang lenangku. Offshore trip, leisure trip, dive trip, tripping here and there (ok merepek).

I've added back some links yang dengaan kejamnya dulu aku delete. Yea aku di tahun 2009 adalah seorang puteri blog yang kejam, pemikiran songsang. Sape tak active aku strike out from the list. Lepas tu skang diorang baru nak active balik so add la balik and nekad biar aje kalau dia tak active. Contohnye macam si pejai yang dah 11 bulan tak update blog (Oh pejai TOLONGLA bace statement aku ni) haha.

Eh, tak payah jauh2. AKAK beta yang sebelah bilik tu pun tak update jugak! Supermom la katakan. Takpa, dimaafkan. Tunggu masa sesuai nanti mereka2 ini akan membuatkan aku tak sempat pun nak leave footprints here and there.

Unplanned post tapi agak berderet2 dan melelong2.

Happy Birthday to my brother in law. Walaupun dh 3 hari lewat tapi saje lah tempek gak encik simpson nih.

Azam tahun baru: setiap post ada gambar happy atau cute2.. ni boleh la kan? Make sense huh? Disclaimer: pics taken from google. xde harinye aku nk jadi artsy fartsy nih...


Friday, January 1, 2010

When 2009 Waved at Me

“Another year passed with another year waits. 2009 will be the year for all to wake up from dreaming. 2008 had given us too many nightmares which we will never want to have it coming again. Recalling what happened in that year alone will take up forever. Let's just close the book but keep the lessons learnt pages open. Stick it up where you can see it clearly and frequently.”

Sigh. That was my entry for New Year back in January 2009. Never thought it would mean a lot when I said it’s TIME for us to wake up. Yeah I still had nightmares throughout 2009 but then again, it all turned out to be a sweet dream for me to rock the new 2010. Sounds impossible for a nightmare to turn into a sweet dream no?

(kesian kan budak ni? sape la bagi dia pakai tshirt ni.. hehe)

I chose not to whine over the bitter memoirs. I opted to entwine the feelings and forced myself to reflect it as a constructive shock to myself. Those episodes happened to get me thinking more and more, transmitting positive liveliness to me and evidently, it gets me move forward! Thank you God for showering me with Your love, guidance, mercy and with these fresh beautiful mindset.

I kicked off 2009 with a new working atmosphere as I was seconded to other oil&gas company. Being there for 7 months really trained me abundant experiences and immeasurable knowledge. I had my very first practice working offshore, sleeping with 3 different men, had UTI ensued from improper hygiene on the rig (read: sharing toilets with men?), thousands drops of tears, millions laughter and not forgetting some fling with mat sallehs (yeah 2009 was a naughty year for me). 2009 also opened my eyes wider by seeing this world from different standpoint as I have always been working with Malays and always had in mind that backstabbing “culture” only implies within Malaysians. I welcomed myself to this corner of the world and lucky me, I didn’t get or caused any snag while working there.

I came back to my mother company in August with a devastating heart. The love that was used to bloom simply shattered. I was pronounced depressed for a few weeks and I exhausted all avenues to creep back to where I used to stand. It took me 3 freaking months to be sensible and have a healthy mind. We had a mini break up farewell in Miri and we are currently best buddies! How weird this relationship could turn into eh? Nonetheless, I still love him dearly but I concur to the fate that was written in our life journal. I’ll pray for the best to the both of us, kalau ada jodoh tak kemana kan?

I was blaming God at first for not giving me the love that I have always wanted. Yeah, cruel me. But when you’re in my shoes, you will know how depressing life could be when you can have almost everything except love. But then again, I know deep inside the black hole lies a glittering gems that will make me smile forever. I gathered all my strength and stood up on my two feet to face the world. I let down a few people, those who are so darling to my heart. I’ve asked for thousands apologies for all the wrongdoings and I know I have left a big wound in their heart. If only sorry could unwind everything…

I’m currently on top of my senses and have a very open mind. Those roller coaster effects did left a big impact on me and I’m so thankful to be given an opportunity to “muhasabah” diri and move forward. I’m not saying I’m completely a matured lady now but I know I’m up scaling myself towards it. The lessons learnt are too many to be shared but I will write a few that has significant impact on me which I believed some of my readers can look at it as a life reference.

What does 2010 has for us? I can see a big plate in front of me with colorful gastronomies on top of it. Can’t wait to have a taste of 2010! Resolutions? Big bucks! Big butts! Big boobs? Hahaha. I’m seriously underweight and my nose and throat are still not 100% healed. Will bloat myself once I’m able to grab everything on the food counter and my aim for 2010 is to hit 50kg! Of course with a damn hot sexy body, not the flabby parts waving here and there. *fingers crossed*

Will be transferred to new department by April, insyaAllah. With bigger work scope, deeper depth, deeper water, and hopefully DEEPER pocket? Yeah~! I’m so into more fun for 2010. Not a single minute to be wasted, let alone tears to be shed. Of course these are just my hope but with a high spirit and determination, I think I can overcome any hurdle in front of me. Another resolution for me is just to have lots and lots of fun that I’ve missed all these years. Will be serious in diving again (crap, need to find a new diving buddy! Anyone?) , more and more travelling, expand my very little tiny business, more offshore works (easy money babe), more properties, more of this and more of that. Phew. That’s quite a long list huh? Bottom line, I just want to keep myself happy and have a good heart with a great open mind. And move forward. Be wiser and more mature. Be a good Venusian.

Wishing all of you a very wonderful celebration. Have realistic resolutions and try our best not to replicate the same mistake we’ve done in the past. Never argue to a challenge as that is a way to keep us moving forward and be wiser in facing this malicious world. Lose yourself when tense heats up. Learn to forgive but never forget as it will be part of your lessons learnt journal. So many things that I have to do in order to be a better person by end of 2010. Last but not least, love sincerely and trust the ones you love full-heartedly. Love the people who loves you and you will be happier than you can envisage. I’ve learnt the hard way but I’ve never regret. So people, let’s cherish 2009 and sprinkle 2010 with lots of colorful events!



Shhh to 2009. Some things are better left unsaid. I'm not gonna ask what had happened in the past...

Sometimes we need to be around different people to have different views of life. She is an old friend, but so new to my heart. :)